How to improve the “Parent-Child” relationship?

During the longest winter holiday, parent-child relationship has brought huge challenge to parents. In fact this problem does not come in a sudden, but it is a result that has been accumulated for a long term. The outbreak of the coronavirus has made this problem much clearer and bigger. From other part, it is also a good opportunity for us to review and establish a good relationship with our children. A lot  of our parents use a more open-minded and equal way to get along with their child under this rare opportunity.

⽣活在继续。虽然孩⼦全天在家消耗了⽗⺟的很多精⼒,但是也给 了我们更多的亲⼦相处时光和⼤量阅读时间。每天空出时间打牌玩桌游,看电影或者纪录⽚,互不 打扰读⾃⼰喜欢的书,院⼦⾥打球跳绳晒太阳……
——G2 Lisa & G5 Lucas妈妈

课程中的许多作业内容孩子也很感兴趣,比如通过制作手抄报了解新型冠状病毒的防护知识;通过制作Roman Shield 了解古罗马的历史和文化;Art课上色彩艳丽的图画和折纸更是深受小女孩们的喜爱……
——G2 Apple妈妈

If there’s one thing that this dreadful epidemic has shown, it’s how dedicated our school community is to us. Considering all the advancements we have in technology that enable us to work long distance, our SUIS teachers are doing an incredible job in this e learning process and making our kids feel so connected and confident.
Yatharth and my husband have been spending quality time together, playing during weekends, we even watch some documentaries together. We try and keep our morale high although we aren’t sure when things will settle down in China. China is and will remain our home and we pray that we can all come out of this crisis as soon as possible.
——IG1 Yatharth’s mum


The psychological “hedgehog theory” also applies to the parent-child relationship. If this relationship is too close, both of them will be hurt, while if it is too far away, they can’t feel warmth from each other. So how can we find an appropriate distance?



Know Each Other

Love begins with knowing your child. Do you really know your child? Under this situation, we have more time to know each other. Children are the copies of the parents. You can always find a parent’s shadow through a child. So when you find there is something wrong with the copy, will you suspect that it is the original’s problem?  Let ’s try to know your child, understand his/her character, behavior, hobbies, and think about the psychological reasons under this behavior.


Keep the boundary 

Parent-child time has increased during this period, parents need to divide the parent-child boundary in the case of “you are the only one in my eyes”.In fact every child is an independent individual; they are not the belongings and private property of their parents. The English poet Gibran once said, “Your children are not your own children, they are born because they are longing for life. They came to the world through you, but not because of you.” In the parent-child relationship, parents have done all the things for children; this is a reflection of breaking the boundary. We need to respect, trust, and encourage our children, to neither be absent from their life nor interfere too much, also keep distance while we are intimate with them. For doing this, we can hold the parent-child boundary.



High-quality accompany

No matter under which kind of situation, parent-child accompany needs to be high-quality. It should to be as follows:

1. Parents are the one children likes to learn and imitate, so parents need to be strict with themselves and set a good example.

2. Pass positive emotions; try to avoid bringing passive emotions into parent-child interaction.

3.Accompany children is more than being there, but it means being involved whole-heartedly and share the happiness.

4. Except from studying, parents can support children to develop more parent-child happy hours, such as reading, and developing hobbies, recreations and playing sports and so on.



Abandon the idea: “it is all for your good”.

Any good relationship is built on trust, while the foundation for parent-child trust is love without reserve. The idea that “it’s all for your good ” binds parent and child together. Do you really think this kind of love is really what children need? Try to ask your children’s opinion and listen to their voice. What is their opinion of “love”. Now it is time for us to abandon this idea.


This is the last article of “We are with you, psychological health education series.” In this three series, under the circumstances of coronavirus, we have discussed all aspects like: how to relieve anxiety, how to learn efficiently, also how to maintain parent-child relationship.

Parents are the closest and best support of children during the home-stay period. Maintaining close and open communication is the key to providing psychological comfort and support for children who have been stayed at home for such a long time. Although our teachers can’t accompany the children, but the new way of online learning also let the children experience new kind of feelings with teachers which is different from studying in classes.

The outbreak of the coronavirus has brought us a lot of new thinking. In addition to talking to the teachers, parents and friends, our school has a professional psychology teacher who can provide professional psychological advice and suggestions.



Although the starting of school has been postponed, we can’t unite at school temporary. Please believe, the learning does not delay, love does not delay, and development does not delay. We are with you all the time.